August 18, 2015 | Posted in Andy The Everydog

Human-Application-to-an-Adoptable-Dog-400PXI’ve been thinking. Wouldn’t it be great if we were able to “interview” prospective adoptive parents? The way it works, pretty much, is that humans who are interested in adopting us make the first move.

So, here are some of my thoughts about what an adoptive human parent-to-be resume might look like:

* Fun human!

*Canine chef and Nutritional Counselor

* Waste management eliminator

* Curator of dead things and “presents” for owner

*Certified toy technician and squeaker collector

*Massage therapist

*Veterinary Liaison

*Personal shopper and fashion coordinator

*Stain eradicator

* Groomer, nail tech and salon adviser

*Bedding evaluator, turn-down maid service

*Plant, yard and soil restorer

*Chuck it master (clocked at 59 MPH; longest throw: 31 feet)

* Psychological consultant

* Manger of the hugging and kissing department